Appraisal Scoop

Humor: The Dailyshow - "CNBC Gives Financial Advice"

Jon Stewart of The Dailyshow takes a humorous look at the "Financial Crisis" by juxtaposing video clip predictions with actual results . . .sometimes only days later

Here are a few quotes:

After CNBC's Rick Santelli screams angerily that "those loser homeowners are going to get bailed out." Jon Steward says: "He believes in personal responsibility.  He believes in not rewarding the losers for missing all the warning signs.  I mean for gawd sakes, he works at CNBC!  They're the best of the best!".

 

Later . . . "If I'd only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today - - provided I started with a hundred million dollars." - Jon Stewart

 

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

CNBC Gives Financial Advice

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

Appraisal Co. Answering Machine . . . If you are still on the line... how can I help you?

You've reached Your Local Appraisal Company.

• If you are calling to schedule an appraisal please press 1.
• If English is your second language and you are calling for status on a report for the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time today please press 2.  

Caller please note: By pressing 2 you will be charged $3.95 per minute for the call. To not be charged for this call, hang up now.

• If you are a mortgage broker and just need a comp check please press 3 and your call will be promptly forwarded to Zillow.
• If you are a underwriter and are calling to request additional comparable sales that have miraculously closed within 90 days and within 1 mile of the subject, and are a model match, please press 4 and enter the subject's address when prompted.

You will be promptly transferred to a local real estate agency which will give you an opportunity to purchase those needed sales comparables. Reminder, please be sure to let us know when your purchases have been completed so that we may update your report.

If you are still on the line... how can I help you?

AUTHOR: Kathleen "Kat" Bryce - State Certified Residential Real Estate Appraiser RD-4424, , Fort Myers, FL -  http://www.leecountyappraisals.com .   Email: appraiserkat@earthlink.net  Phone: 239-940-2225  Fax 239-275-4130

How many appraisers are needed to change a light bulb?

Answers received

A: How about 101? One to screw it and 100 Scoop readers to debate whether the screwer utilized the right approach/technique, and if not, should he/she be turned in to the State Power & Light Bulb Screwer Board.

A: Three. One to research it, one to inspect it and one to call the client to ask exactly what number wattage to use.

A: First, if in the appraiser’s opinion, the original light bulb should be changed, the appraiser must identify and set forth any additional data considered and relied upon and the reasoning and basis for using a new light bulb.

A: Appraisers do not screw in light bulbs. They make an assumption that the light bulb has been screwed correctly, then forecast the light.

A: Appraisers do not screw in light bulbs. They watch others do it, interview them about their motivations and then write a report about it

A: Two. The appraiser and the review appraiser.

A: Seven. 1 to research the light bulb comparables, 1 to verify the data, 1 to review USPAP and select the right approach/technique, 2 to write the report, 1 to review the report and 1 to deliver the report.

A: None. If an appraiser was actually caught changing a light bulb (as opposed to evaluating and presenting supporting data that states in an unbiased report that the current light bulb has reached the end of it’s economic life, whether the ROI warrants replacing the bulb, the wattage of the light bulbs in the immediate area and the recommended wattage of a new light bulb, etc.), he could immediately find his license revoked with the added possibility of fines and prison time.

[NOTE: The readers of this survey should be aware of the notorious case of Dr. Hannibal Flyby, found guilty of numerous cases drive-by bulb-wattjackings. He was sentenced to 7 years with hard labor at the infamous off-shore island prison “Le Rat Mort”, located south of the Florida Keys. His only form of entertainment is watching teams of oversized/athletic roaches that play soccer games with the few bread crumbs that fall in the dirt floor of his cell.]

Click here to continue reading . . . .

"Old School Appraising" - Are you STILL searching for the BEST comps?!

Re-blogged ActiveRain article "Great News For Appraisers", with permission from Mike Lay

I am very excited today because I found out that we NO LONGER NEED TO FIND AND USE THE "BEST" COMPS IN OUR REPORTS! Nope, it looks like that old, outdated method of choosing the most comparable sales is going the way of the woolly mammoth. From now on, the only important attribute of a comparable is that it MUST HAVE SOLD IN THE PAST THREE MONTHS.

Think of how much easier our life is going to be now! We don't have to worry about stupid little things like proximity, or similarity of quality, age, condition, lot size, age, or even size. So feel free to go off the charts with your adjustments, because that is okay now! As long as they sold in the past three months, they are automatically now your best comps.

  Of course you are thinking, "Mike, you're losing it. The most recent sales are not automatically the best sales. That's crazy talk! Often sales that are older are much more similar and much better indicators of value. Who would think that a 3,000sf house built last year is the best comp for a 60 year old 1,900sf home just because it was a recent sale? You just need to make sure that the area has not experienced a decline in values, or is experiencing extended marketing times which may adversely affect the Subject as compared to those older sales."

That, unfortunately, is 2008 thinking. You need to bring yourselves up to date! There is a new paradigm now! At least according to the underwriters I have been dealing with lately, who refuse to accept an appraisal with 2 recent sales and three over 6 months (but less than 9 months) that were the EXACT SAME FLOOR PLAN, and after I had provided extensive data that sales were increasing, sale prices were stable, average cost/sf was stable, etc. (I've now had this discussion about 4 different appraisal reports with 3 different lenders.)

There I was, stuck in my old ways of picking the most similar comps and providing statistical analysis to show why they should be given most consideration. All I had to do was stick in 2 more sales that sold in the past 3 months, regardless of size and age differences, and everything was fine and the file was through underwriting!

Fortunately, I am now enlightened to the new ways, and am looking forward to just searching an ever-expanding search area without regard to similarity until I can capture 3 or 4 sales that occurred within the past 3 months. It will be so much easier, I now look forward to each new day with such enthusiasm I can hardly stay in bed! No more dreary old research and analysis for me! Join the wave!!!!

PS - For those of you unable to recognize rampant sarcasm when you read it, I am just kidding. There is no new method, no new paradigm, just me venting a little. Sorry to have gotten your hopes up...

AUTHOR: Mike Lay, Appraisal House - Austin Office: Serving Austin, San Antonio, Houston, and Dallas/Ft. Worth.  (800) 497-2660 X-3  Cell - (512) 785-5149

Santa Clause - Former Real Estate Appraiser!

Santa gets firsthand look at consumer cutbacks

By Adrian Sainz

Robert Ecker was bored with retirement, so he went back to work as a housing appraiser in Stockton, Calif. He trained four other appraisers during the real estate boom -- all of them are now out of the business.

   "Since the real estate market closed down, I grew a beard and now I'm doing this," said Ecker, dressed in the trademark red suit with white trim.

"The older kids are asking for clothes now, rather than gifts," he said. "Most of them are asking for one gift."

From Stockton to Miami, from ritzy Las Vegas to gritty Detroit, cities with the worst real estate markets led the U.S. economy into recession. Skidding home prices and soaring foreclosures have magnified the broader woes of unemployment, stock market turmoil and hard-to-get loans. Holiday shoppers are making a list, checking it twice, and then scratching off the nonessentials.

Click here for the full article!

Humor/Video: The Realtor

This is a GREAT parody of what a Realtor does on any given day!  Heaven help us if anyone ever does one of these on an Appraiser!

Here's just a couple of lines from the video:

With a run-down home in the background, the Realtor phones in his MLS description: "OK, uh try this.  Cozy 4-bedroom Victorian ahhh in uh quiet residential neighborhood.  All original hardwood and fixtures. Just paint and move in!"

The Open House: "I always prep for an "Open" the same way every time. Huh!  Hey! Call me superstitious. Ya gotta feel comfortable about the house you're showing. Ya gotta make it feel like you're selling your own home." (As he looks through their drawers and opens the refrigerator) "Tricks of The Trade?  Do not try to do an Open House on an empty stomach!" (then brushes his teeth with their toothbrush!)
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Humor: Awkward Loan Interview with Henry Paulson & Ben Bernake

Henry Paulson and Ben Bernanke appear in Congress with hat in hand for the world's most awkward loan interview ever.

Watch as Jon Stewart acts as a Loan Officer checking their employment and finding out just how much they want to borrow!!

Humor: Typical Appraisal Desktop

Former Real Estate Appraiser Pokes Fun at the Housing Boom

According to the Wall Street Journal blog (click here) this video was written by a former home appraiser, Dave Girtsman of Ventura, Calif., and animated by Amy Baniecki. 

The video depicts the increasing woes of a homeowner as he takes out a mortgage at a teaser rate – and then another – with hopes to “refi in a hurry.”

Mr. Girtsman was employed as a home appraiser from 2002 - 2004 in California. With home prices soaring, he often wondered, “Who could afford these mortgage payments?” he says.

And while it didn’t happen often, a lender would sometimes ask him to say what he thought a home’s value was before he appraised it, Mr. Girtsman says.

The implication: If the value didn’t match what the lender wanted, he wouldn’t get the job. Mr. Girtsman says that he resisted.

Humor (Video) Mortgage Broker Telemarketing Call

This is a  February 2008 call from a mortgage company in California using a telemarketing company as the middle-man to make the initial phone call. The telemarketer makes no sense and keeps repeating the same sentences over and over again:

• It's a U.S. Government loan . . .Just like shaking President Bush's hand!
• The bank isn't going to get sold . . .your loan isn't going to float to the moon for all you know!
• All I need is your fax number . . .then I'll call you tomorrow . . .same time same station, just like Batman!
• This is the hardest job in the U.S. right now . . .to do mortgages!

Once the telemarketer, who doesn't want to slow down and "lose his momentum", gets his potential client hooked . . . he transfers the call to a "mortgage broker".  The broker says he can "push" some guidelines in order to get the loan through.  Hmmmm?    And somehow it's APPRAISERS that need more regulation???!!!