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Independent Press -January 31, 2010, 3:51PM
To the editor from Tom Graham:
I was big fan of the CBS sitcom “Mash”, a highly rated show from
years back. The show opened with helicopters landing war wounded
patients at an army field hospital as doctors and nurses ran out
holding down their hats and skirts and screaming to each other over
chopper noise and rotor spin.
Hawkeye and Hot Lips, two main characters on the show, would have
loved the latest episode of Overlook Hospital presenting its case to
the Summit Zoning Board for putting a huge helipad on top of its
building. If Overlook’s presentation to the Board was a golf game its
testimony last night was another shank in the woods, or as my father
used to say, a doosy.
The Overlook attorney wanted to show the board that the landings and
departures of it’s own “Mash” chopper were not going to have a negative
impact on property values in Summit. His expert witness was a certified
real estate appraiser who put together a report to that effect. To
qualify the witness the attorney asked the appraiser how many
appraisals he had performed in his career. The witness proudly stated
that he was involved in over 3,000 of them.
Here’s where it started going bad for the hospital.
The board chairman interrupted and wanted to know how many of the
3,000 appraisals had to do with helicopters or helipads. Uh oh! Not
even one.
The Overlook attorney then asked the appraiser what method he used
for his study. He went on to describe in great detail pared data
analysis models, updated kitchens, big houses, small houses, isolated
major features, blah, blah.
Then the board chairman interrupted again. He wanted to know how the
appraiser got to the conclusion that helicopters were a factor in his
methodology. The Overlook attorney wasn’t looking too happy by now and
the attorney representing the growing number of concerned citizens
hadn’t even cross- examined his witness yet.
When the residents’ attorney’s turn came, we found out that the
appraiser never interviewed any home owners, never polled realtors or
brokers for their professional opinions, was not intimately familiar
with the state realtor property disclosure form and didn’t know the
distances from the study hospitals to their surrounding neighborhoods.
Oh, and he got his flight route information from guess who? Overlook
Hospital.
The clock saved Overlook before the resident’s attorney had a chance
to come in for the kill as the bell sounded the end of the evening. The
show continues at the next hearing if the appraiser isn’t too afraid to
come back.
Mash had great ratings but last night’s Zoning Board meeting beat it
by a country mile. I hear there’s a new show creeping up in the
ratings. It’s called “The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight”.
Tom Graham
Summit
Source Article - Helicopter Appraiser Not Well Grounded
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